The importance of reconnecting with our emotions (and how to embrace them).
The word emotion comes from the latin motio which means movement. The e could be the e of energy, so we could say it is energy in movement.
In our Western societies there is a real problem with emotions, emotions are seen as inferior opposed to the intellect (the mind) that is superior. We are been asked to hide and suppress our emotions; it is not acceptable to express our emotions in public. But why is it seen as wrong to express our emotions? Why do we point at people who express their emotions and call them “dramatic” or "over-sensitive"?
If we feel, there is a reason for it: emotions are what make us human, they are in fact the most important aspect of our humanity. Emotions are our internal guidance system, unfortunately our modern societies function solely on reason, on the rational mind and have totally rejected emotions. And now we are surprised there are so many lost people in this world…but it is because they’ve cut themselves off from their emotions! Emotions speak to us constantly; we can feel them in certain parts of our body or our whole body. If we let our rational minds control our lives we end up being cut off from who we truly are, from our soul as it expresses itself through our emotions.
Emotions show us what we like, what we don’t like. What suits us, what doesn’t suit us and what our preferences are. What brings me joy? What brings a feeling of repulsion or disgust? What are my passions in life? Why do I feel bad in the presence of certain people or in certain situations? By leaving it up to our rational minds we end up living a life solely based on an illusion. The illusion to believe that life is an equation to solve or a logical succession of thoughts. It’s not that the mind is not useful; it does allow us to manage the concrete and material world that surrounds us. But how do I know what is good for me if I follow only a logical thinking? It’s just not possible. Paying attention to our emotions helps us listen to our inner voice and guidance system. Reconnecting with our emotions is a step towards self-acceptance and healing.
Since the Age of Enlightenment (or Age of Reason) in the 18th century, we have placed knowledge and science at the center of our society. We have placed the rational mind at the centre of our system as the only truth opposed to Divine enlightenment. Looking back at that period in time, we understand how religion and the Church held an important place in society; actually it ruled most of it. The Age of reason brought a necessary balance between the religious obscurantism that was going on at the time and science. But we are three centuries later and our society has completely lost its spirituality, we are completely cut off from our divine selves and we have now a system entirely based on materialism. Science has become the new religion. In that sense it can sometimes be as dogmatic as religion. If we affirm a fact science cannot prove or that isn’t part of its current paradigm, it simply shuts down. The extraterrestrial topic is a perfect example, we are told: “We can’t prove scientifically that is it possible for alien beings from another planet to come to earth!” It’s not because we can’t currently prove it with our understanding of physics that it’s not possible… It is crucial for science to remain in a state of openness if it doesn’t want to become dogmatic.
Basing our entire society on reason has consequently cut human beings from their hearts and emotions. It is primordial today to reconnect with that part of us if we want to heal and reconnect with who we truly are as multidimensional beings. And that is done by embracing and integrating all the aspects of ourselves. Even in certain spiritual communities today we are told we should find the void within ourselves and not feel anything other than Peace and Love. This also demonizes any form of emotion; if we are incarnated on Earth today it is to feel the entire spectrum of human emotions. And I challenge any spiritual master to not feel any emotion! It is simply not possible as long as we are incarnated. The different approach towards emotions is to feel them consciously and not unconsciously. In the New Testament, there is an episode where Jesus fiercely drove out all the
merchants of the Temple using a rope as a whip. This was remembered as the Sacred Anger of Jesus.
When we were children, our parents have conditioned us to feel shame towards certain emotions and thus we suppressed and denied them. This has been perpetuated generation upon generation…And yet a child spontaneously and naturally expresses his emotions; he lets them flow through him. From Source’s perspective there are no “negative” or “positive” emotions, but for the sake of our understanding I will be speaking of positive and negative emotions. On the emotional scale, positive emotions have a vibration close to Source: joy, happiness, excitement and love. Negative emotions pull us away from the vibration of Source: sadness, anger, despair, fear, powerlessness. But they do serve an important purpose nonetheless.
When a child expresses a so called “negative” emotion, for example sadness or anger, he is told it is wrong to feel that way and express it. Sometimes even when a child expresses joy and enthusiasm he is told to calm down and to stop being so agitated. So what happens then? A child between 0 and 6 years old ONLY lives on an emotional level, his rational mind is not yet formed; it forms when he is about 6 or 7. That’s why we call it the age of reason. He is therefore not yet capable of understanding his emotions and giving them meaning.
As his parents are everything for him at this young age, and as he cannot survive without the loving care of his parents, he will do anything to conform to the idea his parents and society have made up for him. He will therefore suppress any emotion that is not acceptable for his parents, what he suppresses will be stocked as an imprint in his subconscious mind. Imagine all the anger, frustration, sadness and powerlessness stocked in his subconscious. All these imprints are stocked in the subconscious mind as emotional traumas. And what happens later on? The adult will continue to drag with them all these imprisoned emotions on a subconscious level and also on a cellular level in his physical body as the flow of emotions is restrained. This is what causes chronic unhappiness in our societies, most of our chronic physical and mental diseases; this is what creates criminals, sociopaths and an overall unbalanced society. When we acknowledge the fact that our lives are guided at 90% by our subconscious we understand better why we live in a world that is upside down.
When we travel around the world, we discover that traditional or indigenous societies, these “under-developed” societies as we call them, develop very few chronic diseases (apart from the ones directly or indirectly brought by Western civilization). Moreover they have very little criminality. Why is that? It is simply because no matter how old they are: as babies, children and elders they express their emotions and don’t suppress them. We can easily see an old man thumping his feet on the ground to express his anger like a little child. There is no social diktat around emotional expression.
This concerns men and women but men have been even more conditioned to suppress their emotions, because emotional expression is considered as weak and therefore more acceptable for women. “Boys don’t cry”, as we say…It is much easier to call women hysterical when we don’t understand what hysteria is. It is merely the result of one or multiple unresolved emotional traumas that have been SO suppressed that they end up exploding in every direction like a pressure cooker.
The good news is it’s never too late to reconnect with our emotions and heal the emotional trauma trapped in the subconscious which imprisons us in recurring patterns.
I will give you an example: a child has felt rejected by one of his parents growing up. He painfully felt this rejection that caused him to feel powerless, he attempted to express it through anger. The parent shames the child for being angry and punishes him by sending him to his room, telling him he’ll stay locked inside until he is no longer angry. What does the child feel at that moment? Expressing his powerlessness implies being even more rejected by his parent, though the parent is the original cause of his emotion. And there he is, alone in his room hurting and there is no one there to hold his hand or reassure him on the fact that he is unconditionally loved. He will then learn to suppress that part of him (the expression of anger) which is not acceptable for the parent (and society at large). The suppressed emotion will not disappear; it will stay stuck in the subconscious mind. As an adult and by the law of mirroring (i.e. The Law of Attraction), this person will attract relationships that will put them in situations where they will feel rejected. This will recreate the feeling of powerlessness that they will probably express through anger again, which will bring more rejection from others. This person will likely end up feeling isolated, desperate and unloved and might even think of taking his life…
This sort of pattern repeats itself over and over until the cause for the original trauma is healed. When the emotion is set free from the subconscious and the understanding behind the emotion comes to the light of consciousness - the pattern ends.
Let’s start by giving us permission to fully feel our emotions, even if they are sometimes painful. We are so used to avoid our emotions, we fear them! We run away from them by distracting ourselves with movies, series and the Internet. We become workaholics, we go out to bars and get drunk, we use drugs and we smoke cigarettes…
When we feel an unpleasant emotion, instead of avoiding it, let’s just take some time to stop, sit or lie down and put ourselves into a sort of emotional meditation. Let’s start by breathing slowly and deeply into the emotion and being completely present to it, letting it flow into our bodies completely. Being aware of the sensation it gives us in our bodies and what the emotion is (for example: sadness, despair, irritation…) Simply saying it’s ok to feel this, acknowledging there is nothing wrong with us - we are just feeling. Let’s try to be in a state of non-judgment towards are emotions, this will contribute to let go of the resistance we might have towards them – resistance which is sometimes even more painful than the emotion itself. By doing this process and breathing deeply through it for as long as needed, the emotion will likely start soothing because instead of blocking it we allow it to flow. Let’s just start treating our negative emotions like little children who need attention and love because ultimately that’s what they are.
Emotions are beautiful; they are our tool for growth and transformation. Ignoring them is like ignoring ourselves, rejecting them is like rejecting ourselves. We are currently living the emotional Stoneage, in a couple of years when we look back to how we treated our emotions and those of our children we will understand how archaic it was. They are our truth; they allow us to store our souvenirs and memories. They give tangible form to our thoughts, they allow us to create art, they lead us to accomplish great things, they allow us to find our pupose in life. And most of all they allow us to LOVE. So let’s LOVE them back and learn how to LOVE ourselves completely and in our entirety.
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