Inner child healing – a path to self-love (trauma, dissociation, wounds)
It has been about 3 years since I started this blog and I have not yet had the opportunity to truly address the topic of inner child healing. Yet it is one of the corner stones of my work as a therapist and as a guide. But everything is always a matter of divine timing and so here comes the time to talk about it. I am going to explain to you what I came to understand regarding inner child healing through my own personal experience, which then led me to develop my own therapy process. And moreover why it is so important to address this subject in these times of planetary Ascension. When I did my hypnosis training about 8 years ago, I practiced age regression and had solid proof that most of our problems in adulthood, wether physical, mental or emotional find their root in our childhood. All childhood memories are deeply imprinted into our being and we carry them with us without being aware of them sometimes. All traumas and abuse experienced during childhood are stored in our memory, in our subconscious mind. There are several types of trauma: physical, psychological and emotional trauma. One must not have grown up in a violent family or have gone to war to experience trauma, absolutely everyone has post-traumatic stress, no matter what environment they grew up in. Regardless of the nature of the trauma, they all fall into the category of emotional trauma. Why ? A child between the ages of 0 and 7, lives ONLY an emotional level. Therefore he does not have the ability to understand and give meaning to what he experiences since his rational mind is formed around 7 years old, hence the term "age of reason". This means he mainly perceives the world through his emotions. We live in a society that does not know how to deal with emotions, sometimes even rejects them, especially when they are negative.
When the emotions of a child are put to the test, when they are not welcomed and embraced by the parents, when they are rejected, the child learns to block and surpress the emotion. But the emotion does not disappear, it remains stuck in his emotional body, in his subconscious mind, under the form of trauma. If the emotion is not validated or reflected by the parent, the child thinks that his emotion is not "normal", that he must have a problem. This generates an enormous feeling of isolation from the outside world: "What I feel does not find a positive resonance in my environment, therefore there is something wrong with me".
Sometimes trauma does not come from things that have been done, but from things that have not been done or given. This is called emotional neglect and it can be as violent and traumatic as full-blown visible violence (I will discuss this subject in more detail another time). We can see that this accumulation of surpressed traumas ends up creating a part of our identity that is completely repressed and fragmented.
A trauma creates a real fracture in our being. When a child experiences trauma, he learns to develop a survival mechanism called "dissociation". There is a part of him that literally dissociates himself from his body so as not to feel the violence of the trauma. It is often thought that dissociation is going out of body, this is not always the case. This occurs when a child experiences a very significant physical and emotional trauma, such as extreme violence or, of course, sexual abuse. But in most cases, when there is dissociation it is as if the child desensitizes from the scene that he is experiencing and therefore a part of his consciousness is elsewhere. He is there without being there.
We all learned to disassociate ourselves as children because sometimes it was our only way to handle difficult situations. When we dissociated a lot as children, we arrive into adulthood with the feeling of being spaced out, not really being here, ungrounded, or always mind-wandering (the temperament of the daydreamer). If we don’t feel present it’s because there are parts of ourselves, fragments of ourselves that are stuck in the past. Every time we dissociate, there is a part of our being that is litteraly stuck at the instant T when we experienced the trauma, and this trauma is stuck on a loop like a broken record. That's why we repeat the same things over and over again, we always attract the same patterns, the same kind of people. We can imagine that we are like scattered in several pieces. Since the dawn of time shamans practice soul retrieval, they go out to seek these soul fragments to reintegrate them into the person. When there is trauma and dissociation, our identity is formed around the trauma we experienced and this how our ego and many alter egos are created. Multiple personalities are formed, which is why we are multiple as human beings, even beyond the fact that we are multi-dimensional. A few years ago I went through difficult times in my life, big healing crisis moments. I was violently confronted with traumas and wounds that resurfaced from my past. These wounds are mostly triggered by external factors, and often when they resurface it is very violent, it is as if we are reliving the trauma. I've already talked a bit about my story in my video "Huge shift" that you will find here, so I will not repeat myself. When these traumas resurfaced I first did what everyone else does, that is project them externally. But little by little I found myself really alone, no one there to hold my hand. I tried to find guidance outside of myself, this only lead to disappointment. Life voluntarily confronted me with myself, I had to do this work on my own. So I really started to dive deep within, meditating with what I felt, being totally present to the emotion even if it was sometimes intense. By relaxing, letting myself go down into the emotion instead of resisting it, I began to make spontaneous regressions at the age when the trauma / wound was anchored. The first time was in relation to my rejection wound, I found myself in the body of the fetus in the belly of my mother. This was probably the first time I regressed on my own, without the presence of another person guiding me. My parents wanted a boy, when they knew that I was a girl they were disappointed. At that moment, I felt an immense sadness, I wanted to disappear, I wanted to die, not to be there anymore and I was only a few weeks old. So I started to take care of this fetus, envelopping it, reassuring it, loving it, welcoming it. And so I began to discover that I could develop a real relationship with that part of me.
We are often told that we must love ourselves, we must learn to love ourselves, it is absolutely crucial for our journey indeed. Everyone understands it in theory but no one actually knows how to do it pratically. By doing this process I have regressed to many episodes of my life, and it was sometimes very difficult emotionally, because to reintegrate the parts of ourselves stuck in the past, we must reintegrate the emotion into our body. What helped me was to develop a real relationship and complicity with my inner child and all the wounded parts of my inner child. So gradually I started to feel reassured and started to learn to love myself by loving this child, and all the parts of me that needed it the most. I went from someone who felt and saw herself as a worthless piece of shit, to someone with a more than acceptable self-esteem. So gradually I started to integrate all this into my therapy work with people, and I called it "Emotional Intuitive Therapy" because it's intuitive and because we reconnect with our suppressed emotions and traumas through the inner child. We become a mother and a father for our inner child and since our inner child is reassured it becomes our guide and the key to our healing journey. I can already tell you that I will certainly write a book about this subject, because it is absolutely crucial to understand how to learn to integrate all these parts of ourselves to find wholeness again. It is crucial to take responsibility for our life. There is no miracle recipe, I repeat it all the time to the people I work with in therapy. I give the keys, I show the way, we work some deep rooted trauma together and then it's up to them to take charge, which goes through a daily practice. My goal is to make people independent as quickly as possible and certainly not dependent on me or anything else. Everyone has the keys to his own destiny in hand, no one can do the work for anybody else. The work being the integration of these shadow aspects and building a love relationship with our inner child through self-love and self-care. Each time we release a trauma, we literally change our past because we release the anchor of the trauma in our emotional body. And so we raise our vibration. Many people want to raise their vibration at any cost using all kinds of techniques. I can tell you, the best way to raise your vibration is to do shadow work and practice self-love (loving the inner child). It is a shamanic, quantum and transgenerational work. We begin with the child and we end up wih the entire family line and the ancestors. We thus help to release the entire ancestral line, we put an end to the passing on of trauma. It is not uncommon to be visited by ancestors who need healing during the session. Imagine this on a global scale! By doing this, we are cleansing and releasing all the family lineages, all the traumas endured by humans on this planet and putting an end to it. Whenever we release a trauma we release the inner child in its purest and most innocent aspect. Every time there is litterally a part of our identity, of our ego that dies (hence sometimes blockages and resistance). We gradually remove the stones from the path that leads to ourselves, to our true being, to our soul. For the inner child is the pure and innocent aspect of our soul. A child is naturally joyful, spontaneous, creative, inspired because it is our soul that expresses itself through it. But to find our child-like and divine essence, we need to integrate our wounds and our surpressed aspects. Ultimately we find our wholeness, our integrity, and we become like children again, but with the wisdom and maturity of someone who takes responsibility for his own destiny.
And I will end with a word from Yesuha on this subject:
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