Duality, Initiation (personal experience) and a dialogue with Isis.
Updated: Aug 20, 2019
We are often told that there is currently a war between Light and Darkness. Others say that we must step out of duality and that duality is an illusion. So what is true? Both are. There is indeed what we might call a war between Light and Dark, it exists. And at the same time we are led to transcend this duality, and we are on the way as a collective. These are turbulent times with lots of events that may seem "negative". After the fire of Notre-Dame, a very symbolic event, I observed that many people focused on the conspiracy theories, the dark forces that appear in different forms. I'm not saying that this is not real. But if we take a step back, realizing that behind Darkness there is Consciousness, behind Darkness hides the Divine. For all is Divine and there is nothing that is separate from the Whole. We must nos integrate this in order to transcend duality and enter Unity Consciousness. This does not mean that we must say "Amen" to all the horrors we perceive in this world, but simply accept it as is. To illustrate my point, I wanted to share with you what happened to me a couple of months ago, I am aware that by sharing my personal experience it is much more powerful than to just speak about abstract spiritual concepts. Since the end of 2018, I have been through a process of total stripping, where I am being led deeper and deeper into the layers of my ego, my human identity, to dismantle and integrate them. All that I can still cling on to externally is systematically ripped off from me. It is a painful process, where each time I let parts of myself die. I was talking about the year 2019 as the activation of the light body for the lightworkers. Activation of the light body is when the soul fully takes its place in our body, when it takes the reins. And to leave the space for the soul to come forward, it is necessary to dissolve our false identity, those parts of ourselves to which we are still attached to and we identify with.
Through this process, many things that I thought were already resolved within me were highlighted even more deeply and intensely. A couple of months ago, I had long planned to publish my article and video about inner child healing. A subject that was particularly dear to my heart because it represents one of the pillars of my work, and I wanted to do it in the best possible conditions. The day I planned to do the videos, I was centred and focused, I did my yoga and my morning meditation practice. And I don’t know how this happened, because I never do this usually, but I was pushed to go on Facebook just before filming. There I clicked on a link that apparently had absolutely nothing negative, it was a channeling. Once on the website I felt a big negative wave invade my being. I just stayed for a few seconds and I immediately clicked off the page following my instinct. But when I wanted to film my videos, it was impossible to concentrate, impossible to follow my train of thought (and this is a subject that I know by heart). I had to start over again and again ... The first thing I thought was that I had been parasited through this link that I had clicked, nevertheless I decided to try to continue. But I just could not concentrate and I thought I would have to do it again another day, though I did not have the time to do so. This made me angry, after editing the videos I realized that the result was rather acceptable. But that night I literally collapsed. I went very low emotionally, and for the first time in my life I felt my nervous system shaking due to the trauma, as if there was a predator on me permanently. This lasted several days. I retreated for several days, staying away from the internet, social network and people. I felt that clicking on this link was like having caught a computer virus, like when we click on a website and our computer gets a virus and ceases to function. This was the same but on an energetic level in my being. I also understood that it was a psychic attack from the Shadow directed specifically at me at this precise moment when I wanted to share something dear to my heart. Like all psychic attacks or black magic, it always comes to point at an unresolved issue.
In my case it triggered the feeling of not being legitimate to do this work and being a fraud. I didn’t blame the Shadow, the entities or the people responsible for this attack. But I was very angry with the Divine, I did not understand why it needed to drag me down to hell when I felt I was doing the best I could to serve and help... When I hit rock bottom, I sometimes ask for spiritual help. And this time it's Isis who came. She came to help me and interact with me. It is only the second time that I have been talking directly with her (the first time was during a shamanic journey), having had more contact with Mother Mary, although I have always felt Isis in the background. She has the softest and sweetest voice and energy, and she said to me: "My dear child, you are my daughter, you are my child, and I have many daughters and sons. " And since I am often asked, I use the name Isis because it is my soul name (it came out during my hypnosis training for Dr. Michael Newton’s "Life between the lives" protocol 8 years ago, at the time I did not understand yet). Now I know that my soul is part of the stream of consciousness that is connected to Isis and the Divine Mother. I saw myself in an underground tunnel, under a pyramid. It was completely dark and I walked with a torch. From both sides I saw frightening faces coming out of the darkness, shouting at me or smearing me. I asked Isis if those were demons of the mind, she said: "Let's call them ghosts of the past".
She told me that I was going through an initiation, as I had already done under the pyramids in a past incarnation. In ancient times, an initiation was experienced in absolute darkness where we are confronted with our mind, with our struggling ego and lower astral entities, until we surrender and touch the void within. That's what happened to me. When a part of the mind and the ego is going to die, the voices in the head become so present and so strong we feel we might go crazy. It is the ego that fights for its survival before the final letting go of dissolution and death. Isis showed me that at the end of this black tunnel there was a large golden room with a golden throne and an open ceiling that exposed the intense blue of the sky. "As dark and intense as the night is, the sun always rises at dawn", she said.
Then she showed me my reflection in a mirror, and this mirror broke into a thousand pieces. "That reflection of you in the mirror is not you, it's not you anymore. The mirror bursts to reveal the diamond inside your being which is the light of your soul”. I had a vision of my soul, very white and shining surrounded by gold that emanated from the center of my heart. "A mirror is fragile and can easily break. A diamond is unwavering, unbreakable and eternal”.
A metaphor used to talk about our temporary identity and our soul. She also asked me: "Where do you place authority within you?” Because we often put our own authority in the hands of someone or something exterior to us, and as we actually submit to that, we give our power away. This comes from childhood and the relationship we had with our parents as children. Parental qualities are often projected onto the Divine. If I do good I am rewarded, if I do bad I am punished. These are human perceptions and not absolute spiritual truths. Isis asked me this question to put my authority back into the hands of my soul. I thanked Isis for her guidance and asked for her protection in the future. I felt much better, but a few days later, I was called for a second round. I felt myself taken back into the abyss of hell again, I saw myself in total darkness. I thought,” No, please not this again!” And there I made a spontaneous regression in one of my past lives in Egypt (I’ve had many). I went on a trip to Egypt a year and a half ago, it was one of my dreams, I always felt connected to Egypt since childhood. But three days after arriving, while visiting the tombs in the Valley of the Kings, I started to have strong migraines and I got very sick. I had lots of fever and pain all over my body. I found myself in bed shaking and sweating all night thinking that I was going to die. On a cellular level I reconnected to memories of intense violence and I was told that I had been buried alive in that life . I was rarely so sick in my entire life and it lasted about ten days, I had to take medication to at least be able to stand up and continue the visits. It is to this particular life that I reconnected recently, on an emotional level this time rather than physical. I saw more details of torture and other punishments, that I will spare you from... It was superimposed with another life in the Middle Ages during the period of the Inquisition where I was also a woman and I was being whipped.
In Egypt, I was initiated as a Priestess of Isis and the spiritual knowledge that I held was coveted by a power that had shifted to the Dark side. A Pharaoh ordered my torture and humiliation if I did not give him what he wanted. After being raped (an attempt to extract this energy through intercourse) and tortured, I found myself in the desert, I saw pyramids in the distance and I went out of my body. I had a near death experience, I saw myself ascending and arriving in front of a spiral of light with two guardians. I could not get through the light, and I begged the guardians to let me in. They said to me: "It's not time for you yet, go back and continue your life." I was traumatized and I told them that they were going to kill me anyway if I went back! They insisted, telling me that I had not yet completed the experience of that life.
So I went back down into my body and it was a painful experience. Then I found myself in a sort of underground hole very deep into the earth where there was ony a tiny opening at the top. And there I again felt a great anger towards the Divine and a misunderstanding. Why are you sending me to earth to help and bring more light and love and then you’re putting me through this hell?
The only way out, all I had to do, was surrender and find acceptance within me. Then gradually peace arose within me. I then saw the moment when I was buried alive, and strangely I did not have any more feeling of fear or panic, I even felt a peace and a calm invade me, and I left my body a few hours after the burial to finally reach the light. By entering the spiritual dimensions, my home, I was taken into a fountain of regeneration to heal myself. Then I was taken to a kind of classroom, where I was going to be able to tell my experience on earth and teach other souls who would soon come to incarnate. Through this experience I was at the heart of the experience of duality. This duality that we perceive outside the self, this war between the Dark and the Light, is above all present within ourselves. Between our light, our soul, and our shadow, our ego. We either project this war outside of us by focusing on the darkness present on earth, or we enter into a struggle against our ego, we battle against ourselves, which is ultimately a battle against the Divine.
The thing we must understand is that the Shadow and the ego serve the Divine. Without the ego there could be no enlightenment. Without the Shadow there could be no returning home while still in the body, which is mindfulness, also called the state of Samadhi. After this experience I have had the chance to have a taste of that state during a couple of days. Just experiencing being pure Awareness, the mind is still, there is no identification, only peace and bliss.
So why not lay down our weapons right now, return to our Awareness, free of judgments, free of expectations, free of struggle. And when we are confronted to our dark side or the dark side of the world, why not return to love and compassion for ourselves and others? Transcending the ego and the shadow can not be done by struggling, it is only in acceptance and in love that it can be done, because it is the nature and language of our soul coming forward.
I understood why I had to go through all of this pain again, not only for my own journey but also as a call to all lightworkers on this planet.
A lot of lightworkers have memories of being persecuted for shining their light into this world, we carry these memories on a cellular level which can generate fear and anxiety to be who we truly are and share our Truth. When we transcend the past, we start to understand that this time, in this life and point in time in human evolution, we are back and we stand firm in our ground. It is now our time to shine and we won’t be vilified and killed for who we are and what we stand for anymore. So let’s stand for the Light now, and I promise you that we are going to transform this planet together!
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